Love, sex, togetherness, breakup and abortion! They all are an inevitable part of our lives. Decades have faded but to hold a baby at your will irrespective of the norms of the world is still a sin!
Sometimes, it is adolescence that holds her back. The other times its family and in the worst case they are rape, victims!
Does that mean you are not fit to be a mother! Abortion has become a common affair now. The forcible excuse that buries your desire to become a mother. It is aborted the moment you get a reality check from society.
A story so strong but yet breathtaking……
Sneha 36 Mumbai
Tears rolling down her cheeks Sneha picked her bags and left towards a road unknown. With faded memories running in her head, she could hear herself screaming out of joy……
Wow!!!! I cannot believe Sahil just proposed to me! It was midnight at a club in Mumbai. I had gone for a birthday party with my friends. In full swing of celebration, I was surprised to see my eye candy enter the party venue.
With fluttering shy eyes and my heart pumping at a fast pace, I tried every possible way to get a glance of him.
Sahil had always been a shy and reserved person. The best part about him was that he respected women . His chivalrous nature and true eyes were something those caught my shattered soul. It had been several months of secretively watching each other and trying to be around. I know it sounds strange that in this generation x, we were not as fast as the speed of light.
But whatever it was we loved it! Coming back to the night, I had no clue Sahil was going to confess and give a name to our relationship. It was one of the loveliest and the saddest day of my life. With this storm, I did not know what was going to unfurl to end my emotions forever.
Time rolled by, seasons changed from summer to winter then monsoon to autumn. The congregation of our life were happy to see us sailing in the boat of love.
Who knew this boat would wreck just by an accident and ruin everything. Sahil and I have always been sure about convincing the family for our wedding. We knew our togetherness fit well on the rule chart of our families. This was one of the reasons that gave us the courage and hope to spend our lives together forever.
Knitting our dreams to a brighter future. After 5 years of union, we physically became one! With no regrets and heart full of immense love.
Our courageous move made us stronger. But, the quantity of strength demanded was more!
After a month of more happiness and closeness added to our relationship. I was tested positive with a pregnancy test.
It all started from there. The state of having a baby in me an emblem of our true love made me overwhelm with joy. On the other side, the fear of facing the family and not having a settled life scared us.
To my surprise, Sahil stood by me. Though I tried to push him away in such a situation so that he does not blame himself.
Eventually due to the societal pressure we had to ABORT the child! It was not the mere killing of our child Instead, It was sowing the feeling of guilt that tossed my life.
Months passed then years. The feeling of guilt had eaten me completely. In spite of having Sahil right next to me all this while, I felt like a murderer!
I started to fear everything around me! Nothing made me happy or satisfied.
The guilt of killing the unborn part of me kept shaking me every second. Even after years I still feel that dark cloud over my head reminding me of how brutal I got towards an innocent.
My doctors told me it was the effect of a decision that was full of conflict and societal pressure. The motive whether right or wrong behind this act leaves a lot of women with agony.
My doctor asked us to plan a baby to help me overcome that guilt. the constant reminder in the head did not let me take this positive step.
I decided to go and not add misery to Sahil’s life. My guilt is making me sink. I chose to go away for some time until I get over this feeling.
Image source:deepdivingmen
Going thorough this phase I realized either value the gift of god that comes in any form or do not take decisions you are not prepared to stand for ! Societal pressure is just a myth until you keep it that way and not let it interfere in your life!!
From all the console and support the fact remains the same.
I had an abortion and this guilt is not going away from me!!!!!
